Like a flower

I feel like these flowers. There is a big beautiful sunflower reaching for the sun. This is the me that wants to shine, the happy me for the world to see.  The crumbled sunflower is the me inside who is full of hurt that I won’t recognize. Withdrawn and sad.  The dying roses represent my lost love who will never hold me in his arms again. Never talk to me and tell me words I want to hear. Grief is real and is expressed in a lot of ways. 

And so it begins

And so it begins. My life without him. We met when I was 16. We were high school sweethearts, then fiancés.  We dated during the four years he was in the Navy while I was going to college. We married right out of college and spent 57 wonderful years with each other. And it ended. When you live that many years with somebody he is part of your soul. He is there in the morning and he is there to say good night to every night. There will be a hole in my heart that could never be filled again. He struggled so to breathe and his life was taken away from him piece by piece. Till he had nothing left. I don’t know what my life will be from now on but I know I will miss him terribly.