Bradford Winter Olympics

The Winter Olympics have nothing on the citizens of Bradford, Pennsylvania.   In our town we could host a variety of events since we are experts and have had years of experience in a variety of different sports.  Here are the Bradford winter Olympic Events:

Number One event: Clearing snow from the driveway.  Participants can use a variety of methods to constantly remove falling snow each day so that your car can make it up the driveway safely. Gear may include: old fashioned shovel, new fangled angle shovel, snowblower, plow blade attached to four wheeler, plow blade attached to riding lawnmover with chains on the wheels, or truck with plow attached.

Number two event: Balancing.  Participants walk on ice covered parking lots, sidewalks, and roads trying to avoid falling. Least number of broken bones wins.

Number three event: Thawing frozen pipes. Participants run their water constantly leaving their faucets on all night and day trying to keep the water from freezing and breaking the pipes. If unsuccessful high plumber’s bills will be added.

Number four event: Keeping the car clean. This event includes waiting for a day above freezing to take the car to the car wash, wait in very long lines, and wash the white salt from the exterior of the car. Cleaning the interior presents a further challenge. Periodically bringing in the trash from the car and trying not to leave anything in the car that will be destroyed by freezing is the challenge. Actually sweeping out the car is impossible at this time of year.

Number five event: Entertaining yourself. The individual participant is challenged with avoiding cabin fever by trying to leave the house at least once a week.  This involves putting on your coat, hat, gloves, boots and scarf and weathering the cold.

Number six event: Trying not to gain weight. Participants try to avoid the comfort food..stews, macaroni, pasta, casseroles…in an attempt not to put on the pounds that come with staying in, inactivity, and binge eating out of boredom.

Number seven event:  Trying not to kill your spouse.  At all costs participants need to exhibit patience. Yelling and grouchiness will be penalized.

Number eight event:  Entertaining your animals. Even the dogs and cats get bored and spend a great amount of time looking out the window.  Extra points are given for those brave enough to take them for walks when the weather is below freezing. And also awarded for playing fetch.

Survivors of the Bradford winter Olympics will be rewarded in the spring with gold…..sunshine.